


Regrets

by Dream_Wreaver



Series: Gabriel Appreciation Week 2018 [6]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Sequel, Writing Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 20:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13488969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_Wreaver/pseuds/Dream_Wreaver
Summary: Gabriel Agreste had no regrets... almost no regrets





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Gabriel Appreciation Week day 7- Regret. Sequel to Entangled, but you don't necessarily need to read that to understand this.

There was very little in his life that Gabriel Agreste regretted. That was the popular consensus, formed after taking in his icy demeanor and tenacity and utter disdain for anyone or anything that would get in the way of his goals. Little did they know, it was only half true. When it came to the horrible things he did under the safety of a secret identity, he felt no guilt. But then, why should he? Emotional manipulation? He wasn’t doing anything to upset anyone (most of the time), he was merely capitalizing on the deep well of dark emotions present in all his victims. For the routine destruction caused to the city of Paris? Not really, Ladybug always ended up fixing everything. For the attempted seizing of magical jewelry from two heroes? Hardly, he wasn’t taking them for anything so asinine as ruling the world. He wasn’t as one dimensional as a comic book villain. Perhaps then for misuse of a Miraculous? Not in the slightest, Hawkmoth was a means to an end.

Hawkmoth. Gabriel Agreste. Two sides of the same coin. And yet, so different. Where the villain was cold, callous, calculating, and uncaring. The man, despite his outward appearance, was not. Gabriel had regrets. He regretted not telling his wife that he loved her more often. He regretted not being able to bring her back. He regretted not being closer to his son. He regretted not knowing how to bond and connect with the aforementioned son. He regretted that as so much time passed he had succumbed to human weakness.

Most of all, he regretted Nathalie. He regretted Nathalie and he regretted what he had done. What he had brought her into. How he had dragged her down with him. He regretted that night when loneliness and alcohol had caused him the blur the line that defined what their relationship was. He regretted that he wasn’t strong enough to stop it. He was a weak man. A weak, weak man. And he regretted that weakness. He regretted that he couldn’t be faithful to the woman he had pledged himself to. The woman he refused to believe was dead. He regretted that Nathalie was too weak to leave him.

He was, by no means, stupid. It was just that at first, Nathalie’s feelings hadn’t even factored into the situation. Nathalie was a constant in a world of turmoil, perfectly calm and collected at nearly all times. No matter what he asked of her, she would complete the task with robotic detachment. And then, it had all come to a breaking point.

Nathalie was a perfect fit for her name. That was what he had always believed. Detached, unemotional,  _ heartless _ . With the empathic powers incurred by constant use of the butterfly Miraculous it was a welcome reprieve from the maelstrom of emotions that assaulted his senses on a daily basis. And then, he had called her out as such. It was not the first time she had been called such. But the label had come when she had perhaps admitting to having a heart, and that his actions caused it harm. He hadn’t believed it, had practically ridiculed her for the notion. She had gathered her clothes, dressed, and then reared back and clocked him.

Thereafter she had fled from the mansion. That same night, he had gone to her, but attempting to mend the situation (he needed her help managing everything in both his lives) had proven fruitless. The tactics that had worked with his beloved wife were things that Nathalie could see right through. But her default state of being, utterly detached, had left her brushing off the incident as though it were nothing. He had taken the out without a qualm. And then he had taken her.

Gabriel was a weak man. And this weakness was fed by selfishness. After that night, her feelings were not so easy to stamp down. He could sense the sweet ache that beat within her breast, but she was determined not to do anything about it. Not unless he did. And he certainly had no plans on that. He regretted approaching her in such a manner. Nathalie was his oasis of calm in a desert of emotions. But now she loved him, and that made all the difference. Gabriel had regrets, and he regretted making her love him. Had he? Feelings were unpredictable and irrational. Weren’t her feelings her own fault? No, he knew the truth. Nathalie was too logical for emotions. And even if she weren't, he hadn't helped by bringing physical intimacy into the equation. He wanted to blame her, but he couldn't. Not without feeling more regret.

Guilt, regret, they were emotions Gabriel hated. But being a human, with thoughts, morals, ethics, those were emotions that were unavoidable. The days passed. On and on and each of them bringing about a continual failure. Nathalie tried to make things better, in her own way. She would try to comfort without coddling sometimes, yes. But more it seemed she was trying to detract from the overall mission. She began scheduling larger blocks of time that Adrien spent around him. Blocks of time that were, according to her, completely immovable or exchangeable. And Gabriel had become so preoccupied with his secondary identity and its aims that all concerns for his civilian life were now handled by Nathalie herself.

She was the one who kept him on track as Gabriel when Hawkmoth was the only life he wanted to concern himself with. And now Nathalie was interfering with that. And unfortunately he couldn’t even threaten to fire her. Nathalie wasn’t stupid by any means (part of the reason he’d been so keen to hire her in the first place) she would know that there was nothing in the NDA she’d signed at the beginning of her employment which covered being a minion to a supervillain with a piece of magical jewelry. And that was the clincher; what had driven Gabriel into a corner. If he lashed out Nathalie wouldn’t stay. She would walk, and then she would sing. Before he knew it the police would be at his doors, and everything he was working towards would be for naught.

For now, he had no viable option but to play her game. Or did he? The thought had crossed his mind more than once that if Nathalie was as in love with him as her tightly reigned emotions might suggest, then perhaps he could sever the ties and she would be too loyal to say a thing. Plus, he might get a more competent akuma for once. Unfortunately, that thought was dismissed almost as quickly as it came. In love or not, Nathalie would never let her own emotions get in the way of what she felt needed or was ordered to be done. It was part of what made her so valuable an asset to his company. But now she seemed more concerned with improving his relationship with his son than being his silent right hand in villainy. Gabriel had no illusions that if he balked or refused that she would carry out the unspoken threat.

Weeks passed. And even Gabriel had to admit to himself that spending time with his own progeny wasn’t terrible. He’d been so concerned with keeping Adrien safe, making sure he’d have everything the boy would ever want so that he wouldn’t be tempted, that he hadn’t realized how starved the boy had been of what he  _ needed _ . Before, when it had been the three of them, Adrien had still wanted to leave, still wanted to be normal, but he’d accepted the decision to be kept in because he had everything. Not everything he wanted, not everything he’d needed. He’d had it all. And he’d shone like the jewel he’d been created as. But ever since the disappearance the same routine that had worked so well for them before… it had been broken. Adrien had suffered. He still shone, but it was like keeping a wild songbird in a gilded cage and expecting it to sing with joy.

Spending time together, truly learning about what interested his son, it brought back some of the boy’s old luster. And Gabriel realized that it took very little effort on his part. Adrien had been so starved of affection that he was eager and easy to please. Adrien was happy just eating a meal together in Gabriel’s office, the elder working on business while the younger did his homework. The companionable silence of two people lost in their own worlds but content to share the space with someone worthy.

There was another, unexpected, bonus. Adrien stopped acting out as much. Stopped sequestering himself in his room for long periods of time. Some of the light returned to his home. Instead of the cold, heavy, almost oppressive atmosphere there was an ember of warmth. Everyone began to smile more, he noticed. Even Nathalie, though it was always when she thought no one could see it.

But there was still something missing. And it stared him in the face every day. The wedding band on his finger, the portrait in his office, the home screen pictures on Adrien’s phone and computer, even the portrait in the main foyer he’d had replaced with something else soon after she’d disappeared, the band in the box where he’d once kept the butterfly miraculous. His wife, she was still missing. He wanted to get her back, but the only way he saw to do that was to change the past.

How long had it been since he’d last sent out an akuma? Weeks, months perhaps. It wasn’t for lack of fodder, certainly. There was always someone who was miserable in Paris. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was Nathalie. She kept him booked solid. Every minute of every day was accounted for, and her feelings -her affection, perhaps mixed with some exasperation, and something else he couldn’t define on its own- kept him with someone who couldn’t know his secret at all the prime opportunities for creating chaos. Always with Adrien, who he didn’t want to disappoint any longer thanks to the attachment Nathalie had forcibly forged between him and the boy. Always with an important client whose meeting simply couldn’t be rescheduled for another day. By the time he could get away from it all it was time for bed, for most of the city. And there were very slim pickings. He’d learned once that akumas whose rage or sorrow were influenced by alcohol were more ineffective than the baby he’d accidentally akumatized once.

It irritated him. Nathalie, the only person he could trust, was actively working against him. And it couldn’t be tolerated any longer. He needed Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous, he needed that ultimate power, he needed to change the past, and he needed not to be distracted any longer. Resolved to complete his mission Gabriel sent a voice order to Adrien, without Nathalie’s knowledge, stating that an important project had come up and that he would need to miss the activity today. The sullen, disappointed voice that Gabriel had once been so accustomed to hearing answered with the resigned, “Yes, Father.”

It took him off guard, hearing Adrien speak like that. Like it had been second nature, an automatic response. Guilt, regret, it stabbed him through the heart as he silenced the intercom. No, no. He was in the right. Even though he was wrong. Hadn’t Nooroo said as much, when he had declared his intentions with the butterfly brooch? He didn’t want to take over the world, he just wanted to make things right again. He headed up to his secret lair, called for the transformation. The window opened, and he reached out. Chloe Bourgeois was still a self-entitled brat with none of the tact her father possessed. Finding a target wouldn’t be difficult. But the elevator sounded. And when he turned she was there.

Her face was impassive, but the disappointment in her eyes was palpable, especially since being in costume amplified the empathic powers. She was upset with him, likely because he’d gone and blatantly disregarded all the work she had done to fix the problem that his wife’s disappearance had caused. But if he got his way then the problem likely wouldn’t exist in the first place. Nathalie’s upset, however, wasn’t grief for herself, it was for Adrien. But she said nothing.

He ignored her, and yet he couldn’t. But he made a show of it. He swept his influence out over the city and quickly found a target. A hand was outstretched, and a butterfly separated from the horde to land on the palm. He was ready to bestow the powers that would wreak havoc when the weight settled. Without even thinking he let the darkness flow forth from him. He hadn’t realized he’d made a mistake. The weight in his hand had been too heavy to be a butterfly. It had been Nathalie. She had tried to stop him. In shock he looked over to her. Her eyes, still disappointed, and almost scared, met his own. The magic bubbled up from their point of contact, overtaking her, shrowding her completely in darkness.

In shock and disbelief his transformation faded away. Foolishly, the thought was there that if the wielder was detransformed, the magic would return to the brooch. It didn’t. Afraid of what he had created and desperate for answers Gabriel fled his lair and went right for the safe. The book would have answers, it just had to. Nooroo had followed.

“Master?” he questioned, watching the broken man break once again. Gabriel was tearing the portrait away, nearly ripping it off its hinges. The combination was so hastily punched in it was punched in incorrectly.

Several times, this cycle repeated. It was as he was on his last attempt that Gabriel finally managed to input the correct combination. And a good thing too, otherwise the alarms would have gone off, the house put into lockdown, and the police notified. Flipping through the book he struggled to find an answer. It would have helped if he could understand the language it was written in. But the book was ancient. And rare, there would be no one outside of the fabled Guardians who would be able to read it. If any were still alive.

“Nooroo,” Gabriel nearly growled, voice tense with strain, with the crushing guilt that loaded itself heavily upon his shoulders, “Tell me there’s something you can do to fix this.”

“Master, this is…” Nooroo hesitated to reveal how much he knew, as Gabriel’s actions thus far had been completely against what the miraculous stood for, “Nigh unprecedented. The only thing I can think of is that Nathalie has become a conduit for the magic you use to make the akuma.”

“I figured  _ that _ part out for myself, funnily enough,” Gabriel retorted, “Now how do I reverse it?”

“It was intended for evil Master,” Nooroo replied, “The only surefire way is to have it create an akuma and have it cleansed by Ladybug.”

“Which you know I can’t do,” Gabriel shot back, “Not if I don’t want all of this to go up in smoke!”

“The only one who might know more is the Guardian,” Nooroo commented.

“Right, and I’m just supposed to go in and ask questions relating to a supervillain without incriminating myself? Wait, is the Guardian here?”

“It would be a start, if you could find them.” Nooroo replied, “Otherwise we’ll just have to-” he stopped, noticing a viscous, purple-black blob rising up from the near imperceptible seam on the floor. It burbled up and took a vaguely humanoid shape before sinking back to the ground and snaking over it at an incredible speed, “Master!” the Kwami exclaimed.

Gabriel’s eyes widened. Was Nathalie really still conscious in there? Or was she like any akuma conduit, which would mindlessly seek out negative emotion and then transform the object of the chosen?

“What should I do?” Gabriel asked, “I’ve never had to stop an akuma before.”

“At least keep track of her,” Nooroo shouted (which given his diminutive size wasn’t very loudly), “Look there she goes!”

But the blob’s speed was too much to compete with. And Gabriel wasn’t about to run the risk of traipsing about his mansion while transformed. Too many witnesses, especially if that witness ended up being his own son. The best Gabriel could do was keep track of it on the security feed, and even that proved fruitless after a few minutes. Despite seeming to know its own destination the blob was taking a rather erratic path, making it impossible to predict a course. He lost sight of it easily enough. And then it hit him, what if Adrien had seen it? Worse yet, what if it had latched onto him? How could you cleanse a person from another person?

Well, maybe that could be a good thing? But even as he looked around Nooroo’s expression told him not only that the thoughts had been written on his face, but they were absolutely absurd.

“Father?” Adrien poked his head into the office, “Are you done with your important business?”

“I- yes, for the moment,” Gabriel recovered, “Did you need something?”

“I was wondering where Nathalie was,” Adrien replied, “I wanted to ask if she could rearrange my schedule a bit and-”

“Nathalie isn’t feeling well,” Gabriel spat out without thinking, “So I sent her home. No need to get all of us sick, don’t you think?”

“Oh, poor Nat,” Adrien cast his gaze downward, “Well, how long do you think she’ll be out?”

“As long as it takes for her to recover,” was the stilted reply, “In the meantime your schedule will not change from its last update.”

“And about rearranging?”

“Not until Nathalie returns,”

Adrien’s shoulders slumped, “Yes Father,” he acquiesced.

Again that spear of regret hit him. And he cursed Nathalie for invoking the paternal feelings. Gabriel had always loved his son, of that there was to be no question. However, he had much more appreciated the distant relationship they had had. And then Nathalie had interfered.

“Adrien,” he sighed, “If you take your bodyguard with you, you can go to the movies for tonight.”

“Really?” Adrien immediately brightened. He lurched forward a moment, as though going for an embrace before stopping himself, “Thank you, Father!”

“You know, I am not opposed to hugs, Adrien.”

That seemed to shock Adrien more. Hesitantly the boy stepped forward, tentatively he wrapped his arms around his father’s torso. Gabriel returned the hug, in much the same manner as he had after the events of Jackady. The embrace lasted a moment before they let go. Gabriel waved Adrien off so he could deal with Nathalie, wherever she had ended up going. But what no one had seen was an almost shadow like blob in Adrien’s room, lingering over the homescreen image.

MLB

Hours later the mansion had turned up nothing. And Adrien had returned after a fun night out with friends. Normally Gabriel was utterly against his son spending time with that Lahiffe boy, and as of late Miss Dupain-Cheng (regardless of her talent), but if it allowed Gabriel to try and rectify his mistake then that was what mattered. But he hadn’t found a trace of her.

Gabriel looked to a picture of his wife that he kept in the master bedroom. Never before now had he felt guilty about what he had put Nathalie through, what he was putting Paris through. It was for her sake, after all. But the eyes, the ones that always looked so full of love and affection, they were cold and disappointed in him. It was a look he had once thought only her capable of giving him. And then came Nathalie. Nathalie and her feelings, he never should have gotten her involved. And now look at what had happened.

“What would you do?” Gabriel asked her. She had always seemed to have all the answers. But the picture gave him now answers. Only sad disdain. Regret pooled around him, an inky black puddle. It was a restless night as he dove through its abysmal depths. He woke the next morning feeling like he was death warmed over.

Dressing gave him no energy, the day was a prospect he dreaded facing, since Nathalie was the one who largely kept the company running in its day to day functions. Nathalie was also the one who reminded Adrien of his scheduled activities for the day. The scent of food reached him as he entered out into the hall and went down into the dining room. Adrien was shuffling along blearily, as though half-asleep still even though he was dressed for the day.

A spread was put out before them on the table, already sitting but still piping hot, as though it had just been laid out. But it was nothing like the chef’s usual fare (keeping in conscience with the Agreste nutritional plan). Instead it was hearty, calorie filled, a traditional breakfast. And there was a lot of it. Gabriel was torn between being mad at this flagrant disobedience of his staff and wanting to devour everything his eyes saw. It had been quite some time since he had such a feast before him without occasion. Adrien looked to be the same way.

Then the footsteps came. Their attention drawn they saw the last person they had ever expected to see.  _ She _ was there. But she had vanished without a trace. Still, the golden hair, the verdant eyes, the predilection for blue clothing. Still, the most unmistakable thing about her was that gentle smile.

“M-mom?” Adren broke the silence. She was wearing an apron over her blue dress. No, it couldn’t be.

Her smile stretched, wider and softer. Her arms opened for an embrace from her estranged child. It was a siren’s call Adrien was unable to resist. He ran to her, wrapping his arms tight around her as if he would never let her go. She cradled his head against her chest and rubbed his back. Assurance that she was here, she was real. Gabriel still sat at the table, stunned into immobility. No, it couldn’t be. She had- she wasn’t- this  _ had _ to be a dream. Her eyes met his and for a moment, just a flash of a moment, he could have sworn they looked blue instead of green.

But Adrien distracted them, “Mom, you’re really back. Why did you disappear? What happened?”

“It’s alright now Adrien,” she cooed softly, stroking his hair, “I’m here now, and I promise I won’t go anywhere.”

MLB

The days following the return of his wife were the most peaceful Paris had seen. With her back Gabriel had no need for the Miraculous. Ladybug and Chat Noir kept up patrols and were routinely seen around the city. But danger, for the most part, was mitigated. All sorts of theories as to what had happened to Hawkmoth circulated around the internet. Let them speculate, Gabriel was content. His life had returned to normal.

And then, slowly, things started to unravel. It started in the aftermath. Nathalie still hadn’t returned to work. Adrien grew worried though his mother was quick to assure him the assistant was quite alright. And then, she started taking over Nathalie’s job. A few calls fielded here and there, a few meetings arranged on her husband’s behalf. And then most of her day was spent at Nathalie’s desk, using her computer, which Gabriel recalled Nathalie having a specific and private password for. But whenever his suspicions grew, it was like his wife had an uncanny ability to detect it. Because she would distract him with kisses and caresses. And it would work.

Still, she never strayed far from the mansion itself. She would go outside, enjoy the sunshine, but never leave the porch. And despite Adrien’s pleading, she would never allow his friends over to meet her. If they did end up coming over she would be nowhere to be found. Odd quirks to be sure, but there was the moment when it all came crashing down around them.

Adrien worked on his tablet more than ever now. When Gabriel noticed this and questioned him Adrien replied that for whatever reason his computer wouldn’t turn on. He also said that his mother told him not to worry, that she would take care of it. Another warning bell set off in his mind.

“Son, don’t you think your mother’s been acting a bit… strange?”

Adrien glanced around, as if looking for her to pop out from behind a corner at any minute, “Actually, yes, but she’s been gone a long time. Isn’t it only natural that she’d change?”

Gabriel said nothing. Perhaps that might have been it, but something about the whole situation just wasn’t adding up to him. The amount she had changed, in personality and ability was staggering. Before her emotions had radiated from her loud and clear, Gabriel hadn’t needed a miraculous to know what she was feeling. Now, it seemed she had one mode of being, nurturing and maternal. The perfect wife, on paper. She was competent and capable, but she seemed almost inhuman. Inhuman, no, it couldn’t be. Gabriel made for his lair, hoping to transform and get a sweep of the city. But as he pushed the buttons the platform did not move. Like someone had disabled it. He opened the safe, looking for the book, it was there but the memorabilia surrounding his search was gone. 

On a lingering hunch he swiftly made his way to Adrien’s room. It was largely the same, a few little trinkets here and there as mementos from outings with friends. But his computer setup was dark. With determined strides Gabriel went to try and start it up. Sure enough.

“Gabriel?” came the voice of his wife, “What are you doing in here? Your son is out in the foyer,”

“Adrien told me his computer system wasn’t working and asked me to take a look,” Gabriel replied.

She laughed, “Since when have you been well-versed in technology?”

“I figured if nothing else I could call in a repairman,”

“Oh, that’s nonsense,” she waved her hand, “Besides, I already told Adrien I would take care of it. You don’t have to-”

“I think I do,” Gabriel reached out his hand to start up the device.

“Gabriel, leave it alone,” she said tersely.

“I think not,”

“I said, don’t touch it!” her fists were clenched and her eyes were hard, as if she were trying her hardest not to do something she’d regret.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.”

“Gabriel, please, no,” she whispered, “Think of your son,”

His son. Not her son. Not  _ their _ son. Somewhere deep inside he had known the truth. Had known it since that very first day. She was a carbon copy physically perfect down to the tiniest detail, but she was just a copy all the same. A facsimile of the real thing. But he’d been too selfish to stop. She’d really been pushed to this point, hadn’t she? And hadn’t it worked? Gabriel had wanted so badly for things to go back to the way they were that this appeared to be the only logical solution. Logic, that was what she excelled in. But her logic had been compromised by her emotions, and  _ this _ had been the result. Still, the selfish part of him, the part he usually listened to, screamed out in accordance with her. Don’t do it! The voice begged him, don’t let her disappear again! And he was tempted, oh so sorely was he tempted. But he knew, he knew that if he let this charade continue he would regret it. And Gabriel was  _ sick _ of living with regrets.

He grabbed a handful of cords, and yanked. She screamed. And Gabriel watched as the image of his wife began to glitch in and out, like a badly rendered animation. Revealing the truth beneath. Her unholy scream, mingled with electronic undercurrents, had summoned Adrien to investigate. He saw what was happening. He saw the strange hybrid of his mother and Nathalie glitch in and out of one another. She stared at him a moment and screamed again, this time in rage. Rage that she wanted to take out on him.

“Adrien!” Gabriel called, attracting their attention, “Run!”

Like a shot Adrien took off. The akuma screamed and made to give chase but Gabriel lobbed something at her and ran in another direction. She chased after him instead.

“Why? Why, why, why!” she screamed, throwing bolts of electricity at him. It was much harder to dodge when he didn’t have the enhanced speed and agility of his miraculous. “Why couldn’t you just do something selfless for once in your life!”

That almost got him to pause, because he had thought he  _ was _ doing something selfless. He ducked around a corner and tried to call up his transformation. But while the tell-tale purple sparks emanated from the brooch, Nooroo wouldn’t go in.

“Aww,” Nathalie cooed menacingly, her hair glitching from blonde to black and back again, “Not so powerful without your little butterflies, are you?”

“Master, run!” Nooroo advised. One would think that he would relish in the demise of his captor, as it would mean he could be free to be utilized properly, but Nooroo wasn’t heartless, and Gabriel treated him very well aside from the abuse of his powers. And yet, the Kawmi couldn’t fault him that, it wasn’t as if Ladybug and Chat Noir would just hand over their miraculous, even knowing the full story.

Gabriel ran. He only hoped that Adrien would be out of harm’s way. And perhaps able to get the superheroes. How embarrassing, to be relying on them to save him from one of his own creations. Although, he didn’t actually have any control of this one. He wondered if she’d purposely orchestrated things to be that way. No time for pondering, as she was right on his tail. She chased him to his office. Sent him to take cover behind his desk, which she promptly destroyed.

“Everything I have ever done, I have done for you. I have done for  _ him _ ! But you had to destroy everything! And now I have to destroy you!” she seethed. But as she raised her hand to send out another blast of energy she caught sight of the gilded portrait bearing the likeness she sought to replicate. She froze. The charging electricity dissipated, her hand fell. And she glitched over into his wife again.

“But...  _ she _ wouldn’t act that way, would she?” she said quietly, almost to herself. She dropped to the ground, reverting into that facade she had used the dark magic to form. And while Gabriel should have been relieved that he wasn’t dead yet, this reversion back into the personality she had formed around the ideal of his wife wasn’t he wanted either.

“No, she wouldn’t,” he agreed. He knelt with her as she stared at her hands as if looking hard enough at them would reveal the answers of the universe to her, “But you’re  _ not _ her. You’re Nathalie. And it’s  _ Nathalie _ I want. And if Nathalie wants to destroy me,” he took the hand she’d not a minute ago aimed at him and placed it against his chest. Ignoring the frantic beating of his heart he continued, “Then she can. I suppose it’s the least I deserve after everything I’ve done to her.”

“She never would have let it continue if she didn’t want it,” she replied softly.

“Because she loves me,”

“Yes, she does,”

It was then that Ladybug and Chat Noir burst onto the scene. “Monseigneur Agreste!” Ladybug declared, “We’re here to-” she stopped on seeing the pair together, “Save you?”

“As you can see I am no longer in danger Ladybug,” Gabriel replied, standing and dragging the glitching woman to her feet. “But we will need to take care of this.”

“Of course,” Ladybug recovered, “Where’s her item?”

“I’m afraid it isn’t an item of hers, but my son’s, follow me.”

Gabriel didn’t let go of her the whole way there. He dodged explanations of what had happened and how he had figured out what the object was. He watched as the set was clattered to the ground and broken. But the superheroes looked for a butterfly as Nathalie collapsed.

“I don’t understand,” Ladybug said as she looked around in confusion, “Hawkmoth always sends a butterfly. Where is it? Did we not break the right object?”

“No, I would say you did,” Gabriel said, “But I don’t think there was a butterfly involved this time.” he nodded down at the prone woman in his arms as she began to muddy over into nothing but effervescent purple colored magic.

“ _ Nathalie _ is the akuma?” Chat Noir exclaimed. Ladybug looked just as shaken at the prospect that Hawkmoth would use an actual person this time around.

“How am I supposed to cleanse her?” Ladybug asked, “My yoyo isn’t big enough.”

“You’re just going to have to try,” Gabriel retorted, “Did you or did you not once cleanse an entire swarm of corrupted butterflies with that yoyo of yours?”

“I did, but-”

“Are you saying the Miraculous Ladybug isn’t so miraculous after all?”

“My Lady,” Chat placed a hand on her shoulder, “You can do it, just try,”

“Right,” Ladybug nodded, opening up the purification chamber on her yoyo.

Since she couldn’t fit all of Nathalie inside she placed it against the solid cloud of smoke. Instantly it was sucked inside and the yoyo snapped shut. But when she released it, Nathalie was nowhere to be seen. Biting her lip she called for a lucky charm, which was then tossed into the air. With a cry of, “Miraculous Ladybug!” everything was set to rights. And Nathalie was back, unconscious but alive and all right. The two heroes recommended she get checked out and ran off. Gabriel called for a doctor to examine her.

MLB

Nathalie was fine, but the ordeal had likely taken its toll mentally. He had her sent home. Gabriel went off to sulk. He spent the rest of the evening alone in his office, trying to shake off the confusing feelings that had sprung up in the aftermath. Feelings of utter relief, relief bone deep, deeper than he had felt for anyone except Adrien and his wife. But he  _ loved _ them, what was his excuse with Nathalie?

She was his right hand, his second in command. If for some reason he couldn’t carry out a task she was the one sent in his place. Since the disappearance of his wife she had become his lifeline. He had used and abused that fact, and regret had near  _ suffocated _ him. This was the last straw. This, whatever it was,  _ had _ to stop, before the damage became irreparable. Feelings were so messy, that was why he preferred the emotions of others. From an outside perspective, they were easy to follow. A logical progression, a series of events that led from point A to point B without straying. But one’s own emotions, they were rarely so clear.

Gabriel descended to his lair and transformed. The great window opened and the butterflies quivered their wings. He swept across the city, looking for his next victim. And once again footsteps echoed behind him. He turned to see her.

“Nathalie, what are you  _ doing _ here?”

“What else would I be doing here?” she asked in reply.

“I sent you home.”

“I came back.”

“But why?”

“Because,” she said simply, “I love you,”

Instantly he clammed up. He’d felt as much for quite some time. The corrupted Nathalie hybrid had said it. But that was not Nathalie. This was the first time he’d ever heard the words directly from her lips. And he wasn’t prepared for all the feelings those words caused to swirl within him. Anger was there though, anger in the form of cold disdain at her audacity to love him when he still had his wife.

“And what were you expecting?” he asked as he turned away from her, staring at the bright parisian sky: a melting of orange and pinks as the sun sank into the sky, “That your heartfelt confession would garner requiting from me?”

“No,” she answered honestly, “And that’s okay. Because my feelings are not contingent on whether or not you love me back.”

Cold disdain ignited into icy fury, but lest he lose himself and do yet another thing to regret, he dropped his transformation.

“How  _ dare _ you?” he asked imperiously, “You dare to have feelings for a married man? With a child? And your boss no less? Is there no low you won’t sink to?”

“You slept with me first,” she pointed out, “You seduced me, drunk and hurting and I felt my heart go out to you. Do you think I haven’t regretted my own betrayal? I loved her too sir, and I  _ hate _ that she’s gone. I  _ hate _ that we can’t get her back no matter what we do. Do you know how many times I stop by one of her pictures and wonder what she must think of me? Do you think I don’t regret my own weakness when it comes to you? I’m stronger than this, I know it. I would never abuse my relationship with you, abuse her trust. I always believed that. And yet here I am, here I have. I can’t help myself, because I love you. And, if your actions earlier were anything to go by, you care about me too.”

Her words touched him deeply. And that enraged him. He needed to make her see, they  _ couldn’t _ keep doing this. It would destroy  _ everything _ . Everything they were now, everything they were working toward. When he had envisioned changing the past, he would bring her back, her loyalty had been owed that much. But with such feelings, she could disappear with the rest of them, burn in the white pits of oblivion.

“No,” he growled, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to him. The meeting of their lips was harsh and unyielding, a show of dominance. He owned her, his word was law, his commands were to be obeyed. And if he said she couldn’t have feelings for him, if he told himself he couldn’t have feelings then it would be so. Things  _ would _ go back to normal. He  _ would _ get his wife back, his life back, and Nathalie  _ would _ remember her place.

He let her go repeated himself, telling her, “No. You are  _ wrong _ .”

“Am I?” she seemed to be gaining more confidence, “She wouldn’t be mad if she knew sir. She wouldn’t want you to mourn. She wouldn’t want any of this.”

“Don’t speak as if you know what she would want!”

“You can’t deny it sir, you had her back. You had your life back, and you gave it up; for me.”

“That means nothing!”

“Doesn’t it?” Nathalie pressed. Were the emotions so palpable in the air his or hers? Or was it a combination of both?

“I don’t love you,” he said, dragging her into another desperate kiss. “I will  _ never _ love you.” Even as he professed it he wrapped his arms tighter, drawing her closer.

“Third time’s the charm you know. Say it again, I might actually  _ believe _ you this time,” she smirked.

He kissed her again. Just to shut her up, obviously. There was no punishment in this. It was give and take, softness and warmth and mourning. They mourned her loss, they mourned their betrayal to her, their betrayal to Adrien. But they couldn’t help themselves. They had found solace in each other, they loved each other. But they both knew this would change nothing. He wouldn’t stop searching, to get answers if nothing else. Paris would continue to feel Hawkmoth’s influence, so long as there were people willing. And there always were. Gabriel Agreste was a man of many regrets, yet this was no longer one of them.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was the prompt I was the most excited about, did you like it? Let me know and leave a comment below. Until next time


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